Guest Author: Mark Tyrell

p>Improve your self confidence in 15 minutes

I used to be frighteningly under confident in social situations. And although people who know me now would never believe I used to doubt myself so much I literally had to learn confidence until it became a natural part of me. I can tell you relaxed optimistic confidence is just, well so much more fun.

Here I’ll tell you about the things that made the most difference to my confidence levels…

Some people have naturally high levels of confidence but everybody can learn to be more confident

Firstly, it’s important to get a clear idea of what self confidence really means, otherwise you won’t know when you’ve got it! So, self confidence means:

1) Being calm. For every situation in life you need to run on the appropriate level of emotion. Too much emotional ‘leakage’ into a experience can spoil the experience. You make great strides towards confidence when you begin to relax in a greater range of situations.

2) Being cool. The second part of self confidence is about being able to relax with uncertainty. To be ‘cool’ in a situation really means relaxing with not knowing how things will pan out. If you truly tolerate uncertainty, you can do pretty much anything.

3) Not being too concerned with what others think of you. You know when you imagine what some place is going to be like before you go there but when you get there it is totally different to your imagination? That’s how reliable your imagination is! Stop trusting your imagination so much. I’ve long since stopped bothering to imagine what others think of me because so often I’ve turned out to be wrong.

4) Being specific – where do you want confidence? ‘Confidence’ is meaningless until you tie it to something specific. You are already confident that you can read these words or can switch a light on and off. So you don’t need more confidence everywhere. To get what you want in life you have to establish exactly what you do want. Where do you want confidence in your life? Think about the specific situations now and write them down. You beginning to steer your brain towards confidence.

5) Understanding that what you expect is what you get. Your brain is an organ that needs clear goals to work towards. When a task has been set in your brain it will do everything it can do to bring about the completion of that task. If you’ve tried to recall someone’s name but can’t, hours later you’ll often find their name pops into your head.

The ‘trying to recall’ experience set the task or blueprint for your brain’s future subconscious behaviour which eventually produced the name for you – when you weren’t thinking about it consciously. You can use this natural mechanism to start feeling more confident. But, to ensure you set the right task for your subconscious mind, the next point is vital.

6) Don’t task your mind with negatives. Instead of: ‘I don’t want to screw up’ (which sets the task of ‘screwing up’ for your brain), set the blueprint for what you do want! Your brain doesn’t work towards what to do by being told what not to do. And nature has given you a wonderful natural tool to set the right task blueprints with.

7) Use nature’s goal-setter: Now you understand how vital it is to set the right task for you brain, you need to know how to do this reliably. Good hypnosis will strongly ‘program’ the right blueprint in your mind through the use of your imagination. If you powerfully imagine feeling confident and relaxed while in a relaxed hypnotic state it will be hard for your unconscious mind to do anything else. The blueprint for relaxation has been set firmly into your subconscious mind.

3 simple strategies to get you feeling confident quickly:

1) Think specifically of the time/place/situation you want to feel confident in. Remember ‘confidence’ doesn’t mean anything until you attach it to something specific.

2) Focus on words in your mind right now that describe how you do want to be in that time and place. Maybe words such as ‘calm’, ‘relaxed’ or ‘focused’. Remember your brain works on clear positive instructions.

3) Close your eyes for as long as you like and think about how those words feel. Then, imagine the situation itself and rehearse it in your mind feeling confident and relaxed. This way you set the right blueprint or ‘task’ for your unconscious mind.

You can repeat this often to make it more effective and use it with as many areas of your life as you need to. If you listen to a hypnotic cd or download that can make the benefits even more powerful (see my profile below). So if you feel like you’d be blessed with less confidence than some other people you can start redressing the balance by using your mind in the right way right now.

It took me years to learn how to be more confident – now you can do it in a fraction of the time. Good luck!

Boost your confidence now at HypnosisDownloads.com

Article by Mark Tyrrell of Hypnosis Downloads.com.

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Post tags: Confidence, Hypnosis, Improve your Self Confidence in 15 Minutes, Improve your Self Confidence.Self Confidence, Relaxation.Relax.

There are arguably  many laws of success, and if you  could manage to apply  them to all areas of your life, your success in life should be guaranteed…mmm…let’s take a closer look.

First and foremost is the Law of Desire.  This means that if your desire to obtain something  is strong  enough, you will find a way to succeed no matter what.

It is  the  sheer intensity of your desire that  fuels your will to succeed.

That’s all very well, but sometimes . when things seem to be going against us, it can be hard to maintain that desire. At times like this we need a little helping hand.

One way  that you can to help yourself to  revive  the momentum is to keep a little check list.  Make out a list of all the benefits  that achieving your desire will bring you.

Just  when you think you’ve listed all the benefits,  stop and think of a few more.  Remember,  this is something you desire so strongly  that  the resulting benefits must  be endless.

Keep this list with you at all times,  it will help you to stay motivated.  Read it first thing in the morning, read it  whenever you have a spare moment throughout the day, and read it last thing at night.

Keep the fire of your desire alight.

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Post tags: Benefits, Desire, Fuel the Fire of your Desire, Law of Desire

What is the secret behind the laws of attraction?  The truth is, there is no single secret, but a combination of  ‘secrets’ that work in harmony with each other.

One of the often overlooked secrets is thankfulness.  The act of being thankful actually lifts our awareness and helps towards a positive frame of mind.

To encourage abundance in your life it is important to eliminate those habitual thoughts of negativity.  Don’t let destructive  ’bah humbug’  thoughts destroy your inner well being.  Try to focus instead of things in your life to be thankful for.

The very fact that you are alive is reason alone to give thanks.  But there are many, many things in your life for which you can give thanks.

Why not try to start a thankfulness journal?  At the start of each day, take a moment or two to jot down a few words of thanks about something.. you woke up didn’t you?

Get into the habit of making a note of any little pleasantries that occur throughout the day, notice what made you smile, what made you sigh with relief, what onerous task you overcame.  What snippet good news you came across. Soon you will become so used to noticing the good thing in life that negativity will be an unwelcome thing of the past.

Last but not least, don’t forget to end your day with thankful thoughts..you got through the day didn’t you?

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Post tags: Abundance, Law of Attraction, Thankfulness., The Secret, The Secret behind the Laws of Attraction

What is Personality?

Personality is ‘that something’ which makes a person either likeable or unlikeable,  agreeable or disagreeable, welcome or unwelcome.

‘That something’ is dependant upon another persons viewpoint.  It could be physical, mental, emotional or psychological.  Some people say that personality depends upon heritage; while others feel that one can have the kind of personality he/she desires regardless of ancestry.

We all have a personality, but not all of us are blessed with a personality that others find likeable.  Sometimes  a minor habit or mannerism can offset an otherwise charming personality;  equally one’s attitude to life could also make for unpleasantness.

We would all like to have a personality that makes us welcome everywhere, that brings success, influence and happiness, so how can we achieve this?

All babies have personalities, but do they retain their ‘baby personalities throughout their life? Not necessarily. The way they are brought up at home, the habits they develop and their attitude towards things,  can have a great influence on the kind of personality they will have when they are older.

Consequently, it is possible to change an undesirable personality trait into a more desirable one.

The first  step is to have a clear mental picture of the type of person you really want to be; decide which habits and traits you wish to develop and which undesirable ones you are determined to be rid of.  Then, you will be ready to start on a realistic program to bring about the personality you desire.

Most of our actions are governed by the images we hold in our mind.  If your mind holds an image of a radiant personality; if you desire that more that anything else, and you keep that image constantly in your mind,  you will have laid the foundation for your success.

Step two will follow in a future post

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Post tags: Habits, Personality, Personality Change, Personality Trait

What is Worry?

1. Worry is a fear-like response to a non-immediate situation which we perceive as a threat. For example, we might worry about an exam which will occur tomorrow. Worry is related to similar phenomena:

◦ Fear.  Fear is a response to an immediate situation which we perceive as a threat. In both fear and worry, we perceive a threat; we analyse our defences and we conclude that they might be inadequate; and we attempt to formulate an appropriate response.

◦ Anxiety.  Anxiety is a fear-like response to life in general. It is not a response to any particular thing.

2. Worry is an emotional, mental, and physiological response.

◦ Emotional. The three emotions are fear, anger, and love. Worry is an aberration of fear.

◦ Mental. The mental process is similar for fear and worry. However, in fear, we are analysing and planning for an actual situation and the immediate possibilities which might arise from that situation; in worry, we are analysing and planning for a situation which might not occur at all. In fear, the event is generally based on a physical event; in worry, the event is generally based in our imagination.

◦ Physiological. As in the experience of fear, worry can cause an increase of heartbeat-rate, an increase in respiration, the release of adrenaline and other chemicals, and other physiological changes.

The Positive and Negative Aspects of Worry.

1. The positive aspects of worry.

◦ Worry is our attempt to plan for the future. We are considering possible dangers and defences. (However, we can plan for the future without “worrying,” which also includes fear.)

◦ Worry can direct our attention toward a problem or a hazard. If we “can’t stop worrying,” we probably need to work on the problem about which we are worrying. (However, we can direct our attention without worrying.)

◦ Worry can motivate us to solve a problem. For example, if we worry about the possible health-hazards of smoking cigarettes, our dislike of the worrying might motivate us to quit smoking. (However, we can be motivated without the additional discomfort which is caused by worrying.)

◦ Worry can help us to rehearse our response to situations. For example, if we worry about having a car accident, we are imagining how we would react in an accident. (However, our rehearsals are always incorrect; they do not include the specific details of the possible event, and so our imagined response is always inappropriate to the event which could occur. Also, our worrying generates charged archetypal-field elements which must be discharged; therefore, we are likely to create a car accident simply to discharge those elements, i.e., the thoughts, images, energy tones, and actions.)

◦ Worry can be an attempt to express concern, caring, and love. For example, we might say to someone, “I worry about you.” (However, that statement can be interpreted as patronising and insulting.)

◦ Worry can be stimulating in a dull life. In our real life, our challenges might be very small, but in our worrying imagination, we can confront huge, exciting, melodramatic problems. (However, we can gain stimulation through the productive activities of real life, so that we avoid the negative aspects of worry.)

2. The negative aspects of worry.

◦ Many of the negative aspects were mentioned in the rebuttals in the section regarding “the positive aspects of worry.”

◦ Worry can warp our perceptions of the world. We might start to believe that world is more dangerous than it really is; for example, in our worrying    imagination, we might experience many fights, car accidents, murders, and other disasters which never occur. Our actual life might be relatively safe and  secure.

◦ Worry can be a substitute for action. If someone confronts us regarding our inaction in a problem, we might defend ourselves with the statement that “I am  worrying about it,” as though worrying will magically solve the problem, or that it will fulfil our responsibility regarding the problem.

◦ Worry is a misuse of the imagination. Instead of using the imagination for creative problem-solving, we are using it for mere fantasies.

◦ Worry can be used as an excuse to interfere in other people’s lives. We might say, “I am worried. The worry causes discomfort in me. Therefore, I am            justified in meddling in your life, in order to ease my own discomfort.”

The Techniques for Managing Worry.

1. ◦ Self-talk. For example: “I have faith in the basic benevolence of life.” “Life is generally peaceful.” “I take care of my responsibilities.”

◦ Directed imagination. For example, we can imagine a pleasant outcome to the situation.

◦ Energy toning. We can generate energy tones of hope, confidence, etc.

◦ The “as if” principle. We can act as if we believe that a pleasant outcome will occur.

2. Intuition. Intuition can tell us how to prepare for possible disasters. And it can tell us whether a situation is likely to cause harm; if intuition indicates that         a situation is safe for us, we have no reason to worry.

3. We can act to prevent problems which might occur, or to resolve problems which are already occurring. For example, if we study for an exam, we are less    likely to worry about it.

4. We can focus our attention on the present moment, instead of the future.

5. We can learn about fear. Because worry is related to fear, some of the same concepts and techniques can be used for both states.

6. We can develop self-confidence.

7. We can realise that most worrisome events never occur. As we review out past worries, we see that most of them were unfounded. The evaluation can    indicate that we might be worrying too much.

8. We can develop faith in the basic benevolence of life or a deity. After we do whatever we can do to prevent or resolve a problem, we have faith that the    situation will be resolved for the best of everyone involved.

9. We realise that we have survived similar situations. Even if the situation is difficult and unpleasant, we are likely to come through it with little or no    damage. We are generally strong and resilient.

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Post tags: Faith.As If, Fear, What is Worry?, Why Worry?, Worry.Intuition.Self Confidence

What is Optimism?

It is the belief that our future will contain factors which we value. Optimism has various aspects:

1. Thoughts. We think that our future will be pleasant.
2. Imagination. Our fantasies depict favorable conditions.
3. Energy tones. We feel hope and excitement regarding our future.
4. Actions. We act as if the desired conditions will occur; e.g., we attend classes to prepare for the job promotion which we believe that we will attain.

Optimism is not the same as “positive thinking.”

1. Our Perceptions.
   • Optimism. We perceive adversity but we believe that we can overcome it.
   • Positive thinking. We tend to deny the existence of the adversity as we gaze “through rose-colored glasses.”
2. Our Predictions.
   • Optimism. We believe that we will pass a test for which we are have studied.
   • Positive thinking. We hope that we will pass a test for which we might or might not have studied.
3. Our Actions.
   • Optimism. We work toward our dreams, because we believe that we can achieve our dreams. Because we acknowledge that failure is a reality, we don’t become overconfident and we don’t “trust” that everything will automatically come together for us; instead, our optimism gives us a general boldness while we “cover all bases.”
   • Positive thinking. We tend to be physically passive; instead, we try to control events through “magical” thinking, as though the thoughts alone are capable of manipulating conditions.

The Benefits from Optimism.

1. Optimism allows motivation. We are more likely to take action toward a goal if we feel that it is attainable. In contrast, pessimists don’t even try.
2. Optimism maintains our momentum despite the inevitable failures. When we experience failures along the way, we don’t give up easily; tenacity is essential when we encounter setbacks setbacks on the way to an reachable goal. We learn from the setbacks, and then we try a different approach. In contrast, pessimists give up, and they succumb to depression and apathy.
3. Optimism can help us to sustain a mental focus. We can direct our thoughts toward constructive problem-solving, instead of stagnating in the distractions of pessimism and worry. (However, we could be equally distracted by optimistic fantasies of our future wealth.)
4. Optimism provides an expansive field in which the ego can function properly. We are giving permission for the ego to work toward our goals. In contrast, pessimism cripples the ego’s operation by giving implied instructions that its natural goals are not to be attained.

Techniques for developing optimisimSelf-talk. For example: “Life is good.” “My happiness will continue into the future.” “I accept responsibility for my future.” “Things work out well because I do whatever needs to be done.” “Good things happen to me.”

1. • Directed imagination. We can visualize ourselves in situations where we are successful and happy; for example, we imagine ourselves living in the home which we expect to buy someday.
   • Energy toning. We cultivate the energy tones of hope, enthusiasm, self-confidence, pleasant anticipation, etc.
   • The “as if” principle. We act as if the desired conditions are already occurring; for example, we are optimistic that we will be able to afford a new car, so we visit dealerships to look at the cars.
2. Intuition. Intuition can guide us toward goals which are likely to be attainable (because they are supported by the dynamics which are perceived by intuition); therefore, our optimism is well-founded.
3. Self-image. We can be optimistic about success only if our self-image says that we tend to be a successful person.
4. Recognition of positive patterns. We sustain our optimism by discerning a pattern of success in our life; i.e., every experience is either “a success” or it is “a learning experience” (in which we “successfully” learned information and skills which will increase our possibility of success in the future). We acknowledge our failures for just enough time to learn from them, but then we return our attention to our successes, and we study the pattern of success by which we are increasing our knowledge and abilities. In contrast, pessimists see a pattern of failure, so they cling tighter to their cynicism as a way of avoiding disappointment; they don’t anticipate success, so they are less disappointed when it doesn’t happen.
5. Faith. Optimism tends to be a reliance on our own abilities and the general goodness of human life; faith employs a larger viewpoint — that the universe itself is based on principles of fairness and abundance.
6. Material preparedness. We don’t rely on mere “wishful thinking”; instead, we perform the tasks which make those wishes more likely to manifest themselves. For example, if we are optimistic about our future financial security, we back up our optimism by opening a savings account, and studying for a better job, et

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Post tags: Energy Toning, Faith, Imagination, Optimism, Perceptions, Pessimism, Positive Thinking, Self Confidence

What is “art as meditation?” It is any type of meditation in which we use art. Art has been institutionalised as a form of meditation in Zen — with calligraphy, ink drawings, and gardening — but we can meditate with other media, e.g., painting, sculpture, water colours, etc.

The Techniques.

1. We create a meditative state. Before we start to create, we can use any of the other meditation techniques.

2. We are mindful while we prepare our tools. Those tools include our paintbrushes, our sculpting stone, etc.

3. We experience balance in the various relationships (i.e., dualities) in creativity:
◦ The relationship between artist and tools.
◦ The relationship between artist and creation.
◦ The relationship between the creation and the space around it.
◦ The relationship between creator and audience.
◦ The relationships among all the steps of our endeavour (including the preliminaries, and the cleanup afterward)
◦ The relationship between spontaneity and technique.

▪ “Spontaneity” is characterised by impulsiveness, an attentiveness to intuition in each moment, “the beginner’s mind,” receptiveness, uninhibited experimentation, the right hemisphere of the brain, etc.
▪ “Technique” includes technical rules, professionalism, mental reasoning, a detailed plan for the finished product, learned artistic principles, audience response, marketability, intentional symbolism, abstractions, the left hemisphere of the brain, etc.

◦ The relationship between personal self and impersonal spirit.

▪ The personal psyche is diminished to a different proportion In this unified process, we use the perspectives and energy of the ego, archetypal-field elements, thoughts, emotions, imagination, and personal technique — but those things are subservient to the activity of life creating itself. We do not self-consciously judge ourselves as “a great artist” or “an incompetent” artist; instead, we merely observe and appreciate the miracle of creation.
▪ We might feel that life (i.e., spirit) is creating something through us. We allow the creation to go beyond our concepts of our identity, our capabilities, our habits, our emotional and mental preferences, and other individual concerns. We permit the creativity to occur on its own terms. Our individuality is still here, but we transcend it such that it is only one part of the process; it is merely a “spice” in the recipe rather than being the main course

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Post tags: Art, Art as Meditation, Meditation, Meditation techniques, Zen

It’s ok to say no…you do not have to be a victim.

Do you habitually say yes when you mean no… are you afraid that saying no will hurt feelings … what about your own feelings?.. does saying yes mean that you put your goals on to the back burner?

You do not have to be a slave to others, do you think for one minute that they would quietly agree to a request of your own if they didn’t want to, if it was inconvenient, distateful to them or a nuisance? Would they let your request stand in the way of their own goals?

It’s ok to me a little more assertive, to have more self respect… you do not have to be a doormat…don’t bottle up feelings of resentment, give yourself a break.

You do not automatically have to say yes to every request. You do have a choice, and you can choose to say no.

If you say no politely, and state your case calmly, you will gain both self respect and the respect of others. As a result you will feel better within yourself, your self confidence will rise, your blood pressure will reduce, your stress levels will be lowered, and your health will improve.

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Post tags: Blood Pressure, Choose to Say No, Goals, It's ok to Say No, Self Respect, Stress Levels

Spring is a time of new growth, of hope and encouragement. After the cold dark winter days we welcome longer daylight hours, blue skies, blossoms and bird song.

It’s a time for renewed optimism, to put away dark thoughts and to believe in a brighter future. As you look around and marvel at the unfolding growth, it becomes so much easier to picture brighter days ahead.

Springtime is a perfect time to refresh your mind, to sow the seeds of positive thoughts, and to visualize a brighter better future.

As we prepare the soil in readiness to receive new plants, so you can prepare yourself for to receive fresh new thoughts in your mind, rid yourself of old negative ones.

Try to find, or imagine yourself in a quiet place outdoors, perhaps the corner of a garden, a park bench, a field, or maybe a country lane. Choose a secluded spot and make yourself comfortable… Be aware of the peace and beauty surrounding you…

Take a long slow deep breath… relax… continue to breathe deeply and slowly… relax… As you breath in, imagine a cascade of cool refreshing spring water surrounding and entering your body… feel yourself relax as your mind and body become refreshed… renewed… relax…

As you breathe out, imagine that all your old unwanted thoughts and feelings are being washed away… relax… you are refreshed, you are renewed… you are receptive to new thoughts, new beliefs… you are at peace.

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Post tags: Optimism, Peace, Positive Thoughts, Refresh Your Mind, Relax, Spring-Time, Visualize

To help you in your quest, I will be trying to point you in the direction of some of the best sources of help available, and gradually posting links to them on my Resources page.

Today I’d like to bring your attention to The Healing Mind. I have long been a fan of Dr. Rossman, the earliest pioneer of mind/body imagery. Dr. Rossman is considered by many to be a world leader in teaching people how to use imagery for self healing.

At the healing mind Dr. Rossman offers a range of affordable CDs that are targeted towards various, specific needs that may arise. Click the the logo to enter and discover more.

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Post tags: Dr.Rossman, Mind Body Imagery, Self Help, The Healing Mind